i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
