I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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