As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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