WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
