I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's no shave November. This is our time.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
