TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
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I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
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since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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