Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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