she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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