I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
