I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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