wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
vagina is talking i cant
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
