Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
