did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
