Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
