Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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