I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
