Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
