We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
