eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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