He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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