Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
