Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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