I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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