i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
