i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
