had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
40s are totally the cure
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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