Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
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Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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