somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
They took my balls.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
