There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
