remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
