Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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