i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
