I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
