haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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