she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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