he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
