Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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