I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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