Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
