Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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