Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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