yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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