bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
