We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
