She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my shit smells like andre
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
