Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
