We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
