I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
