i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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