did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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