Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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