okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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