Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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