If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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