Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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