How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize