whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
