Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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