Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
