I just pynch a tree in the face
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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