I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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